Ask the Coach: I'm too shy to approach him - how can I get him to notice me?
Dear Rick and Jo,
There is a guy working at a store where I shop regularly who I think is very attractive. He is always friendly but he hasn't indicated if he is attracted to me. I want to push things on a little, but my friends warn me about being too forward, because many guys find a woman making the first move to be a turn off. What should I do?
Rachel of Rockdale
Dear Rachel,
Try the RCI ‘Rule of 3 for Conscious Dating’ - a 3-step process for when you spot an attractive man. It allows you to be quietly assertive - without putting him off. The period between each step depends on the arena. If it’s a party, allow say an hour between each step. If he is someone you see regularly in your life’s routine then leave a few days between each step.
STEP #1: Smile, make eye contact, introduce yourself, ask their name, make small talk as you would being friendly with anyone in any setting. The purpose of this first contact is to leave a positive impression. STEP #2: Return after an appropriate period. You’re on first names basis now, so start with small talk, and share about something important to you, such as your children, work, etc. Assess their reaction - positive, negative, or neutral. Having revealed something specific about yourself, you then ask him or her about the topic (e.g. “Do you have kids?”). You have 3 aims here:
• i. Discover whether you have anything in common, especially an important value; • ii. Confirm your attraction and interest after discovering something real about this person;
• iii. Leave another positive impression, based upon something real about you. STEP #3: Return after the appropriate period and now you’ll be like old friends. Talk a bit further about what you have in common. Towards the end of the conversation say “I enjoy talking with you, seems we have a lot in common. Would you be interested and available to meet for coffee sometime?”
Rachel - this is how you can “tread carefully” and choose whether to move past Step # 2. It is also a non-threatening experience for the man as you are giving him ample opportunity to extend an invitation.
Are YOU searching for Soulmate Success?
Go to www.SecretsToSoulmateSuccess.com to receive your free CD and video e-course worth $297.
There is a guy working at a store where I shop regularly who I think is very attractive. He is always friendly but he hasn't indicated if he is attracted to me. I want to push things on a little, but my friends warn me about being too forward, because many guys find a woman making the first move to be a turn off. What should I do?
Rachel of Rockdale
Dear Rachel,
Try the RCI ‘Rule of 3 for Conscious Dating’ - a 3-step process for when you spot an attractive man. It allows you to be quietly assertive - without putting him off. The period between each step depends on the arena. If it’s a party, allow say an hour between each step. If he is someone you see regularly in your life’s routine then leave a few days between each step.
STEP #1: Smile, make eye contact, introduce yourself, ask their name, make small talk as you would being friendly with anyone in any setting. The purpose of this first contact is to leave a positive impression. STEP #2: Return after an appropriate period. You’re on first names basis now, so start with small talk, and share about something important to you, such as your children, work, etc. Assess their reaction - positive, negative, or neutral. Having revealed something specific about yourself, you then ask him or her about the topic (e.g. “Do you have kids?”). You have 3 aims here:
• i. Discover whether you have anything in common, especially an important value; • ii. Confirm your attraction and interest after discovering something real about this person;
• iii. Leave another positive impression, based upon something real about you. STEP #3: Return after the appropriate period and now you’ll be like old friends. Talk a bit further about what you have in common. Towards the end of the conversation say “I enjoy talking with you, seems we have a lot in common. Would you be interested and available to meet for coffee sometime?”
Rachel - this is how you can “tread carefully” and choose whether to move past Step # 2. It is also a non-threatening experience for the man as you are giving him ample opportunity to extend an invitation.
Are YOU searching for Soulmate Success?
Go to www.SecretsToSoulmateSuccess.com to receive your free CD and video e-course worth $297.
Tags: approach, attraction, coach, dating, harrison, how, jo, love, men, rick
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